Answering the Question: Are SAHMs Lazy?

One of the great wonders of the blogging sphere that I’ve joined is Google Analytics.  They have the power to tell me how many people check this site, where they’re checking from, what they’re reading, and more.

It makes me feel like a spy, even sitting here in my fuzzy pink pajamas, and I like that. : )

About a week ago I noticed that someone out there found their way to this website by searching the question: Are stay-at-home-moms lazy?  I found the idea of the question intriguing, and wondered what type of person it was asking this whopper-of-an-essay-question of my humble little website:

• Was it a woman who has now found herself pregnant and is wondering if staying home is the choice for her?
• Was it a man looking for a way to tell his wife that he feels she should go back to work?
• Was it just pure silliness?

I don’t know – unfortunately Google can’t go quite as far as telling you the searcher’s motivation, but to you, dear question asker, I’m going to tackle this question head-on.

Some are and some aren’t.

Choosing to stay at home these days really is a job choice for women.  We have rights and protection in the work force, that makes us eligable for any job (a right that I am most grateful for), so when we stay home, it is essentially a career move.  And, like with any job, you can’t generalize all of the workers – some are lazy and some are not in any field.

Did anyone else see that news article earlier in the year about the luggage handler that fell asleep in a cargo hold and was flown from NYC to Boston? That’s pretty lazy, but calling all baggage handlers lazy because of it wouldn’t be fair to those who do somehow get my bags from Santa Cruz Bolivia, to Miami, to San Francisco, to Portland.

Some SAHMs are probably lazy out there.  They watch their soap operas, eat their bon-bons, and do whatever else is stereotypical of that particular lazy-mom image.  That is their choice, and I would add that it’s a harmful one for both her and the family for which she is responsible.

Hard-working SAHMs are committed to child-rearing, to their home, and their husband’s well-being.  They are on the move from morning till night making a home that is comfortable, friendly, educational, loving, tidy, and nurturing.  Certainly, if you hired out people to take over all of her responsibilities to home and family you wouldn’t call them lazy – you might even find yourself giving them a big fat tip.

That being said, even the best of us (I’m not putting myself in that elite group, as I am quite flawed) have the occasional lazy day.  That shouldn’t, however, overshadow all of her normal productivity.  I remember when I was working, sometimes so many unexpected things would arise that at the end of the 8-hour day, I’d look at my agenda and think, “Did I accomplish anything today?”  The unexpected happens a lot when your work environment is dictated by persons who aren’t toilet trained, who fall sick quite easily, and who’s attitudes and opinions change day to day and sometimes moment to moment.

Keep in mind that all of this happens without pause, break, sick days, weekends, or paid vacations.  Choosing to stay home is everyday, period.

Now, I know that this can be a touchy subject, and I don’t want to make enemies of the working moms out there who put in their 8 (or more) hours at the office and still feel the burden of the SAHM’s workload too.  I can see how the argument can be made that because we SAHMs aren’t putting in those 8 hours on top of everything else that we must be lazy.  I would counter that argument simply by saying that we spend those 8 hours doing the things that others have to hire out, i.e. day-care and take-out, replacing the time we spend with children and the effort we put into nutritious and budgeted meals.  We use that time wisely, so at the end of the day we can be relaxed and pleasant companions to our husbands – another important role of the SAHM and an added perk for him who puts in the long hours to support us financially.

Being a hard-working SAHM is about choosing to fully commit oneself to the support, nurture, and care of home and family.  Lazy people are lazy, hardworking people are hard-working, where the work (or lack thereof) takes place is simply a matter of choice, priority, or circumstance.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.